Raising Kids is Like Growing a Garden

Dads are very important to a child. Time spent with that child is just as important for a father as it is to the mother. I have been reading a lot lately to what a father means to a child since I am destined to be a dad. What I have learned so far a father is to give is love, communication, affirmation, prayer, praise, and discipline. Everyone tells me a book won't help me be a good parent. I agree to a certain extent, but being prepared can't hurt.

My Dad and Mom spent a lot of time with us as children. One of the ways we spent a lot of time together was our family garden. It saved a lot of money having a big garden for my parents and it also was a good way of sharing with other families around the community. Our family garden was my Dad's pride and joy. Sometimes I remember him sitting in the shade after a long day of working in it and just smiling while overlooking it. I think sometimes he was as proud of that garden as he was of his two sons. The man could grow the biggest tomatoes anyone had ever seen.

I still remember the first time my father ask me to work in the garden with him. I had grown up playing in the dirt around the garden while my family worked preparing, weeding, and harvesting until I was old enough to go to work myself. Until that point my brother would always argue that I was old enough to work just as hard as him. My dad would always tell him my time was coming. It finally arrived. One night while sitting in the den after supper, he asked me to get up early the next morning and help him chop the garden. It was like a early Christmas present. I was six and ready to get working in the garden that my dad took so much pride in. Maybe I could win some favor by helping him make his garden in to a showpiece. During the hot summer months we only had one A/C in our house and we utilized it to its fullest. We all made pallets on the den floor where it was located and put up a bedspread separating the rest of the house from the arctic den. It was like the equator on one side in the rest of the house and the top of a mountain on the other side. I slept on a twin bed, my brother on the couch, and my parents on a full size bed on the floor. I couldn't sleep the whole night thinking about the work that had to be done in the garden the next day. I may have slept a couple of hours all night and I saw the dawn breaking through the front windows as the windows faced the east. Getting up without awaking anyone was a task in itself in our old creaky house. My plan was to beat my dad to the garden and have a lot of the work done before he made it out that morning. I shucked the covers off and eased to my room to change clothes. We had wood floors in our house and they would creak with every movement. No sound seemed to move my family as I eased out the front door and went for my garden tools. I grabbed my dad's old faithful hoe out of our tool shed/chicken house. My family hadn't had chickens in years so it got converted into a tool shed. I ran through the morning dew to the 2 acre plot of growing vegetables next to our house to put my plans into action. I had made plans the whole night while lying in the bed about what all had to be done. I couldn't remember my dad's plans though. From the time he asked me to help him hoe the garden, I hadn't heard anything else. I started out with the peas and moved on to the butter beans. My dad finally made it out from his bed and he stood there in disbelief at what he saw. I knew he was so proud of his little man by the look on his face. I had the Barney Fife swagger and nose sniff. I was so proud of the job I had done. Remember my dad asked me to help him chop or hoe the garden. That is exactly what I had done, I had chopped the garden. I had chopped down two rows of peas and was working on the first row of butter beans when he caught me. The look of disbelief turned into one of disappointment. I knew from his look what I had done was wrong. He stopped me and told me to go in the house. I think he sat in the garden for a few minutes as his nerves cooled off. It was the only time right before I got a spanking during the pre-spanking speech that I wasn't sure if he was crying about spanking me or over the death of some peas and butter beans.

Either way I learned a lot from working in that garden as I went through life. We learned hard work, responsibility, and learned that taking care of something and nurturing it would reap great rewards not only for our family but also all who we shared with. Gardens are a lot like kids, spend the time with them and work hard at being a parent and try and weed out the bad, and give them encouragement like fertilize and water in the garden and they will bring great rewards not only to you but all they come into contact with. Thanks Mom and Dad for the life lessons and I hope to pass them on one day to my kids.